Still the illness I got in Abu Dhabi forced me, once feeling a little improved, to traipse off to Lanzarote to recoup in the sun.
And that is what I am doing now – recouping. I am putting my heart and soul into it. Letting the sun do its job by day with me eating everything in sight by night – purely to build my strength up of course.
On the flight from Stansted I read an article about Jamie Oliver who, on some chat show that week, recounted the story of how, in their early days, he burnt his private parts whilst cooking a romantic meal for his wife. Apparently dressed in only a bow tie around his willie, he steamed it when opening the oven door.
I too have done similar I recall. When I lived on a narrow boat I decided to fry my willie. I had risen one Sunday morning and for whatever reason decided to cook bacon and eggs. Why I can’t recall. The boat was moored a mere twenty yards from the only greasy spoon cafe on the River Lea, but I had the bacon, the eggs and the urge. I too was naked. There was no romance involved. Jamie Oivers’ wife was nowhere near. I had got up, showered and rather than dress just mooched around naked. It must have been summer. Well, to cut a long (and painful story short) I managed to tip the pan of hot oil, bangers and eggs. Some very hot oil splashed where it shouldn’t ever splash.
The reason I mention the incident is only because I muse how many men have managed to burn their willies – whether in a romantic situation or not. Perhaps steamed, as in Jamies case, fried, micro-waved or even candle waxed for that matter.
I will not forget that Sunday morning fry up. I leant both how to salsa and yodel like Johnny Weissmuller that morning and to this day the thought of bacon and eggs brings on a hives.
I have had some trouble with the speed of the broadband in the house here.
Perhaps it’s the rain they had on the island a few weeks back. While I was in bed in the UK, suffering with my Abu Dahbi conceived illness; the island had some of the worst storms for twenty years.
Most of the Canary Islands caught some part of a tropical storm that seemed to last for many days. The islands were apparently lashed by heavy rain and high winds. Sometimes up to four inches of rainfall in a day. It appears Tenerife caught the worst with some extreme flooding. At least one person died on one of the islands and most had to close their airports and ferries for long periods.
Lanzarote properties, in fact properties in the Canaries in general, were never built to withstand heavy rain. It isn’t their normal weather.
With the mountains, the surface area of Lanzarote is quite large. Certainly compared to the “flat” size (if that makes sense). So, when it rains the way it did, all the water has to flow down to the Atlantic Ocean . Natural (and manmade) gullies become torrents making their way to the sea. The resorts and towns on the coast are in the way. Storm drains can’t cope and roads and houses flood.
The island suffered badly in the storm. I’m almost glad I was too ill to travel back here.
This leads me back to my broadband speed. I don’t think it has anything to do with water or extreme weather. I think it’s just crap broadband. I am with Telefonica which is pretty close to our BT in the UK. Someone suggested I try one of the other suppliers – Orange for example. This set me musing again. I seem to muse a lot these days!! What is the point of changing suppliers. The cable coming into the house carries the service. Another supplier isn’t going to unplug the end at the exchange and swap it for another cable which gives more “broadbands” or whatever comes down the wire are they? When we swap our electric supplier in the UK (or anywhere for that matter) we don’t suddenly get a brighter light from the bulb. Or if it is a new gas supplier do we suddenly get a surge of extra heat from the boiler or gas stove? No. It’s just the same service sold to us by a different name.
I think I shall stick with what I have got.