ok, this is an idea brought on by some conversation with, well, I can’t remember but probably P and P.
Reservation for – Peter, Andrew, James, John, Mathew, Philip, Thomas, Bartholomew, James, Judas, Jude, and Simon, plus one
The Lads Last Get Together
“Hello you lot. Bloody Mary, who picked this place as the venue?”
“Simon, he always books the restaurants.”
“Yeah, me, why? What’s wrong?”
“It looks more like a Hashemite Brothel than a restaurant. I thought we were celebrating the Passover not a Passing on”
“Well he’s booked it for the next three weeks apparently.”
“You’re joking, this is the last time I’m coming here.”
“It was cheap and local.”
“The story of your life eh Simon?”
“It’s got a lousy write up on Fezbook.”
“What’s Fezbook?”
“It’s a new community group thingy. Started by that nerdy bloke; Googleheim I think he’s called.”
“You mean Zuckerberg.”
“Oh yeah.”
“Is he Jewish?”
“Probably, Zuckerberg doesn’t sound very Roman does it.”
“Well he might be one of the Byzantine Zuckerbergs.”
“What are you having then Andy?”
“Anything but fish. If I never see another fish………..”
“The set meal looks good for four shekles.”
“Set meal has very small portions apparently.”
“No problem, have you seen what JC can do with small portions?”
“Yeah the set meal may be ok but everything on it is covered in humus.”
“Do you mean Hamas.”
“That’s not for a few centuries yet.”
“What are you having Jesus?”
“Me? Not that hungry actually. Had a nasty turnout with the money lenders and it’s put me off grub. Bit ‘o bread will do me, and a glass of wine. You can all share it if you want.”
“Steer clear of the house wine JC, it tastes like vinegar.”
“This plate could do with a clean.”
“So could this cup.”
“Ugh yeah, it’s bad enough double dipping but doing it off them …”
“Hey Jude, who’s still to come?”
“Oh Matty, Phil, and Simon. ‘ere they sound like a singing group.”
“And Judas, he’s not here yet. But he’s always late. Oh, ‘ere he is now. Whooa, Snazzy shirt Judas? Looks expensive. Come into some money ‘ave yer?”
“How many of us for drinks then?”
“Thirteen when the others get here.”
“Thirteen! that’s a football team and two substitutes. Shall we form one. We could be Jerusalem United.”
“Why not, we might win the Roman All Comers cup.”
“We could at that. We could beat those Roman teams. They’re useless. All they do is roll around a lot shouting foul, bloody Prima Donas. All their refs are on the take, and the few that aren’t just wash their bloody hands when it comes to making a decision.”
“You’re old man can manage us eh Jesus? He’s got bugger all to do. We could clear that apple tree from his garden and get a great pitch there.”
“He might pull off a miracle and guide us to a Euphrates Cup win in the first season.”
“Yeah, be good to win a silver pot straight off eh?
“You alright Judas? You went pale when he mentioned silverware….”
“Here they are, Matty, Phil, Simon. The Three Amigos. Come and give us a song.”
“Do you know “This Could Be the Last Time by the Rolling Grave Stones?”
…………………