Anyone want a bad back? I’ve got one going spare. No charge and free delivery.
I can also offer a small dollop of bad hearing, athletes’ foot and tinnitus for a left ear. The dodgy knee I may keep for future use. And I’m certainly keeping the underused willie for sure. Well you never know!
Of course the eyesight is not what it was but I really should hang on to it for a little longer.
I was going to put up the “touch of anxiety” on the “free to take market”, but it seems so diminished lately that it’s not worth it. Since I lost stress, both anxiety and negativity have gotten so small that I don’t think anyone will want them. Although someone younger could take them and rebuild them to the great worries they were in the good old days. Although keeping them isn’t’t a concern – they’re not really doing any harm at present.
Of course I’ve got a few pounds of blubber to give away as well, but there is no shortage of that in the great British public. I might have to dispose of that with some hard work called exercise. Although if anyone knows of an anorexic, gullible Muppet please let me know.
So, not so much to get rid of really. Mainly the bad back. If I get rid of this one I can work on getting something far better to see me out. Or perhaps just stay spineless and lay supine in bed for the rest of my life. A bit like Jabba the Hut, eating, drinking and watching Murder She Wrote reruns.
Oh, one in-growing toenail can go on the list. I almost forgot that. We’re down to the small stuff now with an in growing toenail. May as well put that with the rash on the bum – but that will probably have gone by the time someone comes to view it.
So if anybody wants any of the above, you know where to find me.