Author Archives: Andy Heard

The Swimmer

Posted on September 19, 2017 by Andy Heard

The four couples sat on blankets on the stony beach. The sun shone. A bottle of wine was open, well on the way to being finished. Once empty it would join the two bottles already waiting for disposal. “She looks … Continue reading →

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Ryanair when you phoned

Posted on July 13, 2017 by Andy Heard

I found this recently. I must have typed it years ago – when you phoned to book…..shows how old….   Ryanair “So yous don’t want insurance then? “No thanks,” “What, you’ll take the risk will ya?” “Yes, I’m sure it’ll … Continue reading →

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The Zombie Nightmare

Posted on July 13, 2017 by Andy Heard

The Zombie The zombie, for surely that was what it was, had seen me and approached. I had heard that they were about. It shuffled in a form of movement I had never witnessed before. Slowly it came on. Relentless. … Continue reading →

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Robins First Time

Posted on June 29, 2017 by Andy Heard

Driving over I could tell Robin was nervous. I would know of course. He is my seventeen year old son. He hardly spoke during the fifteen minute drive. Normally he would be talking ten to the dozen about this or … Continue reading →

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that last supper

Posted on June 29, 2017 by Andy Heard

ok, this is an idea brought on by some conversation with, well, I can’t remember  but probably P and P. Reservation for – Peter, Andrew, James, John, Mathew, Philip, Thomas, Bartholomew, James, Judas, Jude, and Simon, plus one     … Continue reading →

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The Return

Posted on June 29, 2017 by Andy Heard

I walked straight in. I hadn’t knocked. I didn’t expect anyone to be in there. It was a surprise to see the lights on and Dave sitting in the corner. He looked up as if my entrance had dragged him … Continue reading →

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Thank you Mr Microsoft

Posted on June 29, 2017 by Andy Heard

Thank You Mr Microsoft.   Thank you for scanning my computer. I didn’t ask and you did it for me. Thanks. Oh, and thanks for finding the virus that was “infecting” my machine. Boy, without you looking, unrequested, I would … Continue reading →

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Diane Abbott ….that kiss

Posted on February 10, 2017 by Andy Heard

“Hello, hello …Diane?” “Hello…. oh it’s you Jeremy..” “Are you ok?” “Yes of course I am. Why shouldn’t I be.” “Well I heard that you had been sexually abused last night.” “Who told you that?” “It was in the Daily … Continue reading →

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First Transatlantic call …..did it go something like this?

Posted on February 6, 2017 by Andy Heard

  “Hello, President Trump?” “Yes, Hi Prime Minister May, or can I call you Theresa?” “Why yes of course……. Donald.” “Fabulous, fabulous ! I am so glad we met last week. It was amazing. We are going to have an … Continue reading →

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Our obsession with Trump

Posted on February 5, 2017 by Andy Heard

What is it about Trump? Why are we in Britain obsessing about the man. Every news bulletin. Every front page of every newspaper. He has become Britains national obsession. What do we care? We have our own problems to sort. … Continue reading →

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